A Truth Journal: 2016: Funny Jokes About Hypocrite Ted Cruz Running for President

A Truth Journal: 2016: Funny Jokes About Hypocrite Ted Cruz Running for President: Check out the 2 new updates at the end of the post! From Denny:  Ted Cruz.  Just the sound of his name makes most people cringe - like screeching nails on a chalkboard.  But he's definitely political theatre.  He's wonderfully entertaining as you watch Republicans gnash their teeth in agitation and fear.  Democrats find him hilariously funny.  Independents, well, we do a whole lot of eye rolling at our house every time he shows up on the news.  Of course, the news networks are talking him up in the hopes his campaign will spend lots of money on political ads for him. Cha ching!

And, then, the next "of course" is that the journalists and talk show hosts were quietly told to never mention that Cruz is simply not eligible to get into the White House because he was not born on American soil - or a U. S. military base - even a U. S. embassy...

Wanderer Side Pillow Case

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Dreamer Side Pillow Case

Are you a wanderer or a dreamer or both? Celebrate!

Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!

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Dennys Funny Quotes: Viral Video: Huge To Go Order As Funny Bear Makes His Getaway With Yummy Garbage Dumpster

Dennys Funny Quotes: Viral Video: Huge To Go Order As Funny Bear Makes His Getaway With Yummy Garbage Dumpster: From Denny:  Bears.  What are you gonna do with them?  They have garbage gourmet tastes.  Especially this enterprising guy at a Colorado Springs, Colorado German restaurant.  What was a restaurant to do but film the bear naked thief in case they had to take him to court?

Late-night snacking is a favorite with bears and this bear was notably out for the big score.  He decided he wanted to keep snacking later in the day at his den so he hit on the idea of stealing the dumpster for an all day take away picnic lunch...

Check out the link to see this hilarious video.  Animals are smarter than we often think!

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Enjoy this modern floral as bedding, curtains, blanket, pillows and even a hip clock!

Dennys Funny Quotes: Check Out Funny Business Names in Louisiana

Business (Photo credits: www.roadtrafficsigns.com)

Dennys Funny Quotes: Check Out Funny Business Names in Louisiana: From Denny:  Of the few local newspapers left in America - before they get gobbled up and homogenized by Big Business to turn a bigger profit - there are those small papers that still retain a local flavor.  Baton Rouge, Louisiana and The Advocate is one of them.

A local reporter by the name of Smiley Anders has been collecting and writing this funny column since 1979 when he first started in the business.  The public write in their true stories of funny situations that happened to them.  The public also pass on local Cajun jokes for good measure.

One day Smiley was calling out for readers to send in funny business names they have seen in their Louisiana communities.  Some of the names are downright odd and funny crazy.  Some business owners actually invested in these silly names!...

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Dennys Funny Quotes: Comic Jimmy Kimmels Plan To Save The U.S. Post Office

Dennys Funny Quotes: Comic Jimmy Kimmels Plan To Save The U.S. Post Office: From Denny:  These are outrageous times.  To really save the post office and pull it out of huge debt is to start sending snail mail cards, letters and packages.  Really?

Well, yeah, that obvious tactic would work and is a sensible one. After all, the post office lost over $1 billion just in the last quarter of 2012 - and that included the holiday season of which they apparently did not get much of a share of the business.

But what debt answer would be a lot more creative and fun?  Comic Jimmy Kimmel has the answer.  He advocates the President legalize marijuana and then put the U.S. Post Office to be the only guys who can deliver it.  Outrageous?  Maybe, uh, hmmm.... it's actually a monopoly idea that would work!  Yay! Capitalism at work!  :)

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Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Outrageous: What Everyone Needs: A Hot Tub Boat

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Outrageous: What Everyone Needs: A Hot Tub Boat: From Denny:  Looking to pamper yourself because you have more money than you know what to do with? Getting ready for the very popular Rich Man's Spring Accoutremount and Wardrobe season?

Are you so ultra conservative Republican you resent your local Food Bank begging for help because it has empty shelves?  Figure said Food Bank doesn't need donations for half of the formerly wealthy struggling middle class now living in poverty?

Then this outrageous rich man's toy is for you!  For wealthy green folks know that this is an electric boat.

It's called...

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Dennys Funny Quotes: Cookie Monster Hunted By German Police: Alleged Golden Cookie Theft

source:  Hannoversche Allgemeine Zeitung

Dennys Funny Quotes: Cookie Monster Hunted By German Police: Alleged Golden Cookie Theft: From Denny:  Cookie Monster is in trouble - again!  His alleged cookie addiction could cost him some time behind bars if he doesn't get a lenient judge who can sympathize with his plight. Of course, an extortion letter to a German newspaper may not prove to be helpful.  German police are investigating.

You see, Cookie Monster has now made Bahlsen, a popular German cookie maker in Hanover, Germany, world famous with his alleged theft of their trademark iconic giant golden cookie sign, a gilded bronze sculpture.  It's been reported in America and across The Pond in the UK and Europe.

Cookie Monster allegedly claimed responsibility for the sneaky theft.  His demand letter?  CM allegedly wants Bahlsen to...

Cut Wall Street Not Free TV Organic Kids Tee dark (@ Cafe Press)

"Tell the Republicans not to cut PBS - Not my Big Bird, Cut Wall Street not Sesame Street, Support PBS" (PBS is free public TV in America, funded partially by the federal government, and, for decades targeted for extinction by grumpy conservatives who don't want poor children to get a good education courtesy of their tax dollars.)

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The Social Poets: Funny Obama Inauguration Photo Bombs and Late Nite Jokes

The Social Poets: Funny Obama Inauguration Photo Bombs and Late Nite Jokes: From Denny:  Since President Obama's second inauguration the web has had a lot of fun with the various amusing inauguration photos - including a few hilarious photo bombs, most unintentional.  President Clinton's is the most recognized but the funniest are of Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) hamming it up for recognition.

And the late night comics just had to make us laugh at every moment, especially comments about the First Lady Eye Roll at annoying GOP House Speaker John Boehner.

We all enjoy a good laugh when we discover our politicians are more human than they let on in front of most cameras and on talk shows.

Just check out this latest photo (January 2013) of the President running along the White House Colonnade with the active children of his newest Chief of Staff, Denis McDonough.  Give it 20 years and we may see one of the McDonough kids running for the presidency.  Nothing like getting in some election run practice with a presidential veteran!

The Social Poets: Romney: What Is It About American Republican Presidential Candidates Are So Socially Awkward?

Romney (Photo credit: Talk Radio News Service)

The Social Poets: Romney: What Is It About American Republican Presidential Candidates Are So Socially Awkward?: From Denny:  What is it about how the Republicans keep putting up one bad candidate after another?  The whole point of interacting with other world leaders is to cultivate at least the veneer of a polished and smooth sociability.

Obama has that "X" Factor - at least on the surface - and Mitt Romney decidedly does not have it - on the surface or deeper.  George Bush 43 didn't have it at all either.  He was downright vacuous.  Even nice Ike Eisenhower was known for his salty language and terribly confused communication, comprised of broken disjointed sentences, that the press was forever cleaning up before delivering his message to the public.

Yet America keeps on electing the socially awkward and the relationship insensitive.  Looks like Romney is well on his way to the White House.  He sure is trotting around the globe this past week meeting with world leaders like a trial run.  And the Obama presidency was an anomaly that looks like it is soon to be corrected by disgruntled voters.

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The Social Poets: Im Just Saying: Funny Way 4 U.S. Govt 2 Handle Mexican Drug Smugglers

Images of Strauss-Kahn's perp walk were condemned in France, where it is illegal to publish such photos before the subject is convicted. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Social Poets: Im Just Saying: Funny Way 4 U.S. Govt 2 Handle Mexican Drug Smugglers: From Denny:  Take a peek inside a living room as Middle Class America watches the news, offering up outrageous solutions to the nation's ills.

For decades, Mexican drug smugglers have been devising all kinds of effective methods to penetrate the American coastline.  The news anchor seems to think the various government agencies have proven effective at containing the Mexican drug smugglers on land.

Lately - yes, this is a real news story - the smugglers have turned to retrofitting simple Mexican fishing boats with multiple engines to skim across the water so fast you might blink your eyes and miss them.

Apparently, the Coast Guard and other government agencies working in unison, are on watch every night, seeking out the more than several dozen runs by the smugglers all along the California coastline.

This news clip shows how the law enforcement agencies are successful, and arresting all kinds of smugglers, all lined up for The Perp Walk.

Yeah, Middle America is sitting on the couch taking it all in, fidgeting with the remote, when a stellar idea pops into their heads.  All that arrest business sure is a lot of unnecessary work.  We have a more effective solution of how to deal with these cheesy Mexican smugglers.

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Close Encounter Planes Fly Over Your Beach Vacation

Image via Wikipedia

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Close Encounter Planes Fly Over Your Beach Vacation: From Denny: Check out just how low these planes are when they come in for a landing over Maho Beach at St. Maarten Princess Juliana International Airport in the Caribbean. People actually go to vacation here just to experience the dangerous jet blasts from the landings.

In the second video you will see people falling down on the sand and get blasted by what looks like a mini sand storm. Be sure to bring your safety glasses with you when you go to experience this new cheap thrill for tourists! :)

Dennys Funny Quotes: Calling In Sick To Your Boss: 15 Funniest New Excuses

Dennys Funny Quotes: Calling In Sick To Your Boss: 15 Funniest New Excuses: From Denny: When you don't feel like going in to work, pull out your little Black Book Of Funny Excuses. Well, there is a new edition in town since a career survey was conducted.

During the colder weather of autumn and winter most people call in sick due to illness like colds and flu. Illness accounts for 39 percent of employees missing in action, according to the survey.

But then there are the creative types who just want an excuse to spend more time with their families. Others just want to spend more time in bed because the weather is too crappy to deal with. Or the procrastinators realize they need to get in some last minute holiday shopping.

So, what hilarious excuses are this generation of employees offering up as savory mind candy to their bosses? If I were their boss I would give them the day off just for creativity and the boldness to try to sell something so absolutely ridiculous.

The Social Poets: Jon Stewart Ridicules GOP Mocking Most Of America

The Social Poets: Jon Stewart Ridicules GOP Mocking Most Of America: From Denny: Jon Stewart hits it out of the ball park yet again. Here he pulls together copious news clips of the GOP's rallying cry to the American public to "go out into the streets and take back America." Much to their chagrin Americans are doing just that. It's called Occupy Wall Street protests.

Only problem is that they are the 80 percent of the country the Republicans love to hate: the middle class, liberals, progressives, labor unions, gays, the unemployed, students who graduated and can't find jobs... you know, most of the country.

One of the clips is especially funny where the GOP tries to sell their tired "class warfare" whine: "It's not nice to pit millionaires against billionaires." That's as crazy as Mitt Romney's recent, "Corporations are people too."

Who ARE these people voted into Congress anyway? We should relabel them from politicians to The Outrageous Who Suck Wall Street Assets.

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Halloween Town Names in America

Image by solyanka via FlickrFrom Denny:  Want to scare your pants off with a new address?  Who knew that a town's name could be so creepy - just in time for Halloween.
Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Halloween Town Names in America: From Denny: Want to scare your pants off with a new address? Who knew that a town's name could be so creepy - just in time for Halloween.

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The Social Poets: Jon Stewart Interviews Boomerang Author Michael Lewis About Global Big Banks Disaster

The Social Poets: Jon Stewart Interviews Boomerang Author Michael Lewis About Global Big Banks Disaster: From Denny: This author decided to go on a walkabout. Actually, Michael Lewis went on a financial disaster tour of several European countries: Iceland, Ireland, Greece and Germany.

He wanted to view the global financial disaster through the prism of each culture and what a view he got. (He is also the author of Moneyball that was recently made into a movie.)

In Iceland he discovered that up until seven years ago the only way to make money in Iceland was fishing. But, seven years ago," the men literally walked off the fishing boats and walked into the banks deciding to become currency traders in a matter of days."

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Image via Wikipedia
Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger:

From Denny: Over 19 million people laughed off their chairs at the narration of this honey badger video. This is one fierce animal, so fierce it attacks cobra snakes head on and bites off their heads. Unbelievable.

Who needs the pesticide Snake Away when you can adopt a honey badger? Just keep your dogs and cats inside when this beast prowls the neighborhood.


What's more funny is how here in Louisiana one of our LSU Tigers got tagged with the name Honey Badger It Takes What It Wants: Tyrann Mathieu. They used to call him T-Rex for his prowess on the field even though he is small by football standards.

Like LSU Coach Les Miles says, "Never judge a person by their size but by the fight in them." Mathieu has been known to out jump those a good foot taller than him to catch the ball. Unbelievable. Yep, the Honey Badger rules on the LSU football field.

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Street Sign Photos

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Street Sign Photos:

From Denny: Check out these hilarious - and sometimes socially inappropriate street signs. You really wonder who creates these signs - a bunch of bored state employees intent upon wreaking havoc upon the unsuspecting public? Can they be aspiring comics, wishing to quit their day job? You decide. :)

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Comic Mocks Russians and Cops Gone Wild

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Comic Mocks Russians and Cops Gone Wild:

From Denny: Can this crazy video get any wilder or weirder? Over 6 million on YouTube laughed. It's the comics fast-paced commentary on the various videos he finds, starting off with one of a pack of Russians practicing martial arts and screwing up royally.

One Russian decides to warm up by an open fire and catches fire. Then the comic slows down the video to show you the crass surprise of how it happened. A total fail that is not to be missed. Who needs fiction when real life is a lot funnier?

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Rick Perry

Image via Wikipedia

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Rick Perry:

From Denny: Jon Stewart pokes at all the holes in Rick Perry's Texas-sized braggart argument as to why he thinks he should get to be president.


The media was horrified - just like the Independents - at the audience howling for blood, cheered that 234 people were executed in Texas just this year alone.


Stewart has labeled Perry as The Great White Hope.

The Social Poets: Late Nite Jokes Roundup: Comics Mock 2012 Politics, Faster Load

The Social Poets: Late Nite Jokes Roundup: Comics Mock 2012 Politics, Faster Load:

From Denny: Start off your work week laughs with America's favorite comics. These are all their best jokes for September 2011.

They cover everything from Labor Day, former VP Dick Cheney's new book (Fabrication of Outrageous Lies), President Obama and Speaker Boehner arguing over when the president can give a speech because it might interfere with a lame GOP debate or American football.

We all know which one of those events is most important. :)

The GOP candidates and their strange debates where the audience cheers how many people were executed in Texas this year is a slam dunk for the comics. And the Independents are edging farther and farther away from the GOP, yet, strangely enough, not moving toward Obama and the Democrats either.

Can this be the year ol' Ralph Nader finally succeeds if he makes his bid for the presidency?

Not to be missed are the continuing Sarah Palin jokes. For someone who insists upon being so one-dimensional it sure is amazing just how jokes are manufactured about her.

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: True Ouch: Comic Gets A Vasectomy, Fondly Remembers His Balls

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: True Ouch: Comic Gets A Vasectomy, Fondly Remembers His Balls: From Denny:  Just when you think the comics have lampooned and mocked it all, along comes a guy joking about his vasectomy.  Terribly funny, a bit graphic for the sensitive, though he does somewhat blur the explicit photos.

Jason Jones is part of the humorous stable of comics over at Jon Stewart's The Daily Show.  What a crazy set over there.  Definitely nothing is off limits and fodder for humor.  Laugh on as he mocks his own parenthood.